YOLO and other time saving acronyms.

If, like many people in the modern world, you are overwhelmed by a long list of important tasks then you are probably short on a valuable asset: time. Time is so precious to us, and yet it slips through our fingers so quickly! As scientists and busy individuals we are continually looking for ways to optimise the use of our time. But how can we do this? And how can we decide where to direct our time saving efforts?

Well let’s approach this logically. When we are short of time what is it that normally suffers the most? Do we start cutting down on quality time in the lab? Do we cancel our late night appointments with that difficult to book equipment? Do we refuse to meet our supervisors for progress meetings? No. We cannot! These things are too important. So what does that leave? What else is there? While many of you may argue that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, as important as your world changing research there are probably some people who may not have spent enough time with loved ones lately. So I would like all of you to participate in a brief and straight forward mental exercise. I want you to close your eyes and try and remember when you last saw your partner, best friend and/or parents, children etc.

I have a ranking system which has been designed by a team of experts who shall remain nameless, like many researchers in the scientific community:

1.  I saw them last week. 
2.  I haven’t seen them in person for ages as I am overseas/out of town but we are in touch frequently via email, facebook, skype and 7 other social media sites. 
3.  I saw them last month (I think). 
4.  We meet up once a year on Christmas for an allotted time of 30 minutes. 
5.  I last saw them before I started my PhD in 2003.
6. I cannot remember the names of any of the people mentioned above. I don’t think I have any friends/parents/children.     

• If you answered 1 you are doing really well! And unusually for someone in a lab based profession you seem to be giving your relationships the time they deserve.
• To those who selected 2, you need to understand that anything which happens on social media, or in the ‘virtual world’, has to be supplemented with a healthy dose of person to person interaction. This is not second life! This is your ONLY life.
• From 3 onwards is where things get more serious. A month or more without seeing the people you care about, or who care about you, is too long! You only live once friend and talking to your lab equipment or ranting in the lab does not equate to a functional relationship.
• For answer number 4. Once a year, tut-tut! While your friends and family may overlook this for a while expect a lifetime of recriminations and angry letters. Children and spouses do not appreciate this kind of treatment.
• You answered 5. Wow! The people in your life are due for a surprise when you emerge from the cocoon of your PhD. Unfortunately, the time you’ve been away has allowed your parents to replace you with a foreign exchange student who came to stay with them for a while, your significant other has married and had 3 children, and there’s a strongly believed rumour in your circle of friends that you are dead and buried. So sit back and enjoy the show as you attempt to re-enter their lives!
• If you answered 6 you are probably too far gone. Stop reading now, nothing will help you in the relationship department. Instead keep working towards your Nobel prize, friends and family are totally over-rated anyway, they’ll only hold you back.

Sadly, this lack of time affects all of us and means that however hard you try relationships and communication will suffer to a certain extent. But, never fear! Here I will provide you with a means to communicate effectively in a fraction of the time that would otherwise be required. The answer is Acronyms!

YOLO: You only live once. (Yolo should be said bitterly on the nights when you’re alone in the lab or when you’re trying to encourage someone out for a social evening).

ASL: age, sex, location. (This one is for those who have become so disconnected from their family and friends that they essentially have to start again as they are no longer aware of their loved ones age, gender or location. Worry about names later).

LOL: laugh out loud. (Yes, if you’re with them they can see you’re actually laughing out loud, but nothing is more encouraging to a jokester than a well-placed LOL. Use with caution as the periods of social isolation endured by many PhD students can affect the humour sensors in your brain).

AAS: Alive and smiling. (A good one to say to parents just to let them know you’re ok).

TBH: To be honest.

IMO: In my opinion.

IMHO: In my humble opinion. (Use when you’re not feeling that humble).

TTYL: Talk to you later.

FYI: For your information.

BRB: Be right back (In just three letters you can reassure and comfort your friends, before heading into the lab once again, that you will indeed be back soon!).

D&M: Deep and meaningful.

DF: Dear friend. (This one is good to emphasise how important someone is to you, especially if you haven’t been putting in the effort to back it up lately).

DETI: Don’t even think it.

DITYID: Did I tell you I’m distressed. (Good for slipping into innocuous conversations allowing your inner circle to realise your happy face is masking a world of pain and fear).

DWBH: Don’t worry be happy. (Enough said).

ATM: At the moment

ETA: Estimated time of arrival. (Good for reminding someone, that although you’ve cancelled on them at the last minute previously due to experiments running overtime, today you will be there on time).

FWIW: For what it’s worth.

TMI: Too much information. (While this is extremely handy in the context of everyday life, in academic circles it can be utilised for silencing those who spend too long vocalising their research successes).

TY: Thank you.

So there you go folks! Some useful acronyms guaranteed to make your communication more succinct and save you some precious time whilst still maintaining those important relationships! TY and remember YOLO.